Will We Die if We Don’t Know?
Perhaps our greatest learning and growth comes from when things don't go well - and yet, we want things to go well and we organize our life so things will go well. If growth comes from learning from failure then the experience of failure is required for growth. That statement is totally counter to our western view of success and achievement. Failure is not a word we associate with success and in fact, most of us are afraid to fail. It creates quite a dilemma, doesn't it? I want to learn yet I'm afraid to do anything I don't know how to do because I might fail and look bad. If I fail and look bad people won’t like me and I won’t be successful. If people don’t like me and I’m not successful I’ll be lonely and I won’t be able to get a job and pay my bills. If I’m lonely and can’t pay my bills I will be sad and I will not have a home to shelter me. If I am sad and don’t have a home to shelter me I will eventually want to die or I will die on the street. Wow! No wonder we don’t want to fail; if we fail we will die (or so we think).
Children Embrace Not Knowing as Exciting
Of course the previous example is extreme thinking to illustrate the point. Yet how many of us run these unconscious tapes in the safety and silence of our overthinking minds? Children don’t do this. This is why children are so good at learning – they embrace not knowing as exciting. They ask questions, often excruciating question after excruciating question (why, why why!). They have not yet burdened themselves with the false notion that they have to have the answers to look good! I suppose this is where the curiosity character trait really comes into play. Being curious (authentically curious – not as a tactic) is about being in the space of learning and from that space we learn something we did not know. To be authentically curious is to say, "I don't know the answer and I want to know." And, we live in a culture and society where saying "I don't know" has, sadly, come to be seen as a sign of weakness. How can we learn if we aren't able to live with "I don't know?" What happens when we stop learning or we cut ourselves off from learning by allowing the fear of not knowing to overtake our inherent curiosity about the world? In the natural world (of which we are, in fact, a part) things die when they stop growing. So, if learning is required for growth and growth is required for life then we need to learn in order to live.
Letting “I Don’t Know” Get in the Way
How many of us if we hear something outside our windows go to the window to investigate? Few of us would not look – there seems to be some safety in looking from the confines of our homes. There is no one to see us "being curious" - being in the space of "I don't know." It is similar to when we see an accident or observe something happening out of the ordinary, something that is unknown. We stand around watching, observing, running tapes in our minds to figure out what "that" is that is happening in front of us. How many of us are willing to take the leap from "I don't know what it is and I'm afraid and I don’t want to be a busybody so I'll just stand here" to "I don't know what that is and I want to know and maybe I can do something to help." Perhaps we've told ourselves that asking questions, wanting to know, being curious is really tantamount to being called "nosy" or a "busybody" or "an interrogator" (as I've been called more than once).
“I Don’t Know” as Access to Innovation and Creativity
When we live in the space of "I don't know" there is room for innovation and creativity. Take for example, a painter. If all a painter ever created was what a painter already knew how to create, the world of art would be pretty boring. An artist, creating from the place of "I don't know" brings us new beauty. It's the newness that engages our senses and invites us to the question of "what else?" to awaken and tempt our senses. Watching a sunset is the same thing. We cannot know how the sunset will color the sky and clouds and that is perhaps why we are so drawn to watch a sunset. The "I don't know" is the exciting part. Why can't we apply the same appreciation to other aspects of our lives? What would it look like to live for one day in the "I don't know" with the intent of learning for action? In other words, not walking around all day saying "I don't know;" rather, being in authentic inquiry about something we don't know with the idea that our learnings are available for us to translate into powerful action.
What do you want to be in “I don’t know” about?
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